Franz Josef: The Madness Continues

February 2014

After an awesome weekend in Queenstown I returned Franz Josef refreshed and ready to take on the rest of the summer. Well I say refreshed I was a mess and I had work that night which was painful but after a sleep I felt a lot better. It was a well needed break!

The weather was in full summer swing now along with the tourist season. I remember when I first got to Franz Josef and a big night was when you had 4 buses in. It was now at least 6 daily peaking at 9/10 on occasion. Thankfully they didn't all have 50+ people on them but it certainly was a lot mouths to pour shots in to. Now almost every night was flat out from start to finish.

Sun is out!

Oscar called an emergency meeting one afternoon which was unusual. He even came around to our house to make sure we would all make it. We were all panicking! I was racking my brain trying to think of what I might have done wrong, if there was a door I hadn't locked the night before or if the police might shut us down for some reason.

"Come with me, I have a surprise for you." This was most unexpected. Apparently in January we had checked in over 10,000 guests for the month, the most the Rainforest Retreat has ever done in a single month so all the staff had a treat and this was ours. We all got into the kayak van and he drove us around to the Glacier Guides. Sweet, I thought, he's treating us to a glacier walk which would be awesome. But then he walked next door to the skydive office!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Sarah is thrilled, James was buzzing, Gavin and Tony are super scarred but excited and I'm still stood outside the office with my hands on my head with a look of sheer terror on my face saying NO NO NO!

I always said I would rather do a skydive and a bungy and having done a bungy this should be no problem. But I had time to prepare for the bungy, I knew it was coming, I was able to prepare myself. This was just thrown on me when I least expected it. I think I said at the time that I would have rather have been in trouble!  I wasn't just the horror of throwing myself out of a plane, I had concerns about my ears because I have so much trouble on planes and I cannot equalise.

Going skydiving!

After I was assured my ears would be ok I signed my name on the piece of paper and assured Oscar that if anything does go wrong then he would be solely responsible! I hated Oscar at this point. I knew after I would probably thank him but at that moment I hated him!

We drive round to the skydive place, got kitted up and before I know it we are all crammed onto this extremely small plane and the whole time I'm just trying to keep my head and not hyperventilate! I'm watching one of the skydivers altitude watches go up really slowly whilst the ground already looks so far away. Shitting bricks would be the biggest understatement in the world.

The door opens, Gavin disappears out of it, I'm on the ledge desperately trying to remember what I was told to do, a grip on to the harness so tightly and suddenly there's silence and the plane is shrinking away from me!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

OH MY GOD!!! It was the most ridiculous moment of my life! My instructor tells me to open my hands and I'm flying! Screaming, A LOT! Half laughing at the same time. I'm still falling, still screaming, still laughing. I'm trying to look around at the sea, the mountains, the glacier, the valleys. ITS INSANE!

The parachute opens and now I notice its my ears that are screaming but I'm still laughing. We float all the way down and land in the field next to the runway. I sit on the ground laughing to myself. Why am I still laughing? I walk over to where Tony and James are waiting for their turn to jump and they ask me how it was and I just laugh, I cant stop laughing! I think I've cracked!

I had just about recovered to see Tony and James do their jumps and I can here Tony from the ground shouting "OH MY GOD!!!" in his loud Canadian voice!

The best thing I have ever done! SO SO GOOD! That whole night I was buzzing even though I was working and even the next day when I was telling people about it the buzz would come back. I did thank Oscar in the end. The only way I was going to do it was if some one made me and he did. And I'm so glad I did!

Me and Hayley at the start of our mission

With such nice weather I thought it was a good idea to Alex Knob again. This time with Hayley because she had never done it. She warned me after we had started that she had a dodgy knee which might pop out of place at any point and I would have to shove it back in for her and then carry her down the mountain. Not what I'd signed up for! Luckily everything held together and we made it to the top.

Looking stumped!

Dramatic looking

Glacier thing

It was a really good day all round but the absolute highlight was the jelly baby incident. The funniest thing ever! Its probably one of those be there moments but when Hayley destroyed a pack of jelly babies by ripping the entire bag in half, showering the ground in jelly babies and receiving odd looks for 2 people near by, it was absolutely hilarious. It was like it was on replay over and over in my head and we couldn't stop laughing. I'm still laughing at it now!

Jelly Baby disaster

We made it to the top with an other incident occurring, had a bit of a picnic and trundled back down. It was a very good day to be up there and great views yet again.

Hayley made it

Mountains!

Great day!

Now to tell the story about the most horrendous thing I have ever done in my life! There was this guy, John, who was staying with us for a month. He's in a wheelchair as he has limited mobility. One of those super high tech wheelchairs with all the gadgets like it rises up so that he can sit at the bar.

One of these days he is sat at the bar having a drink quite happily. Julz on the other hand had done something which prompted me to get the postmix gun and squirt her with a bit of water, as you do. I missed. I accidental got John who fell out of his chair on to the floor! The place stopped and the world imploded. Well not quite but it felt like it! Nobody really knew what to do until James ran over to pick him up!

His response once he was back in his chair and could type on his Ipad "what the fuck happened?" and everyone just laughed. I felt a little relieved but that was the most horrible situation. I felt so bad! Everyone said I'll be going to hell! But John was absolutely fine with it and that's the thing about him. He's always so happy and joking despite his problems. He's actually got a book about when he went travelling across America in his wheelchair. He was down at the skydive site everyday to skydive everyday! He really is a rare legend that I'm so glad to have met. Perhaps I shouldn't have made him jump out of his chair though!

Darren and Tara in the normal clothes

Tony in his normal clothes

Me being perfectly normal!

As part of the treat for the 10,000 guests we had had in January, Oscar had organised a staff kayak trip which I was allowed to join in despite having already had a treat. I was the only bar staff on the trip with a few hosts, receptionists, housekeepers and Tash from the kitchen who was paired up with me.

Pull at attractive face!

Miesha and Jon

I was steering which Tash found very odd as she is an experienced canoeist and knows what shes doing. She didn't shout at me at all though even when I got us stuck on a log!

Wedged

Gather!

Lovely stuff

I threw mine the highest!

Rebel

It was another good kayak trip but the fun didn't stop there. There was a staff party in the bar that night and as I missed out on really enjoying the Christmas party I was really happy to see that I had the night off and I could go and drink with the rest of them.

Oscar playing bar man

Jagers!

Good times

It was a really good night and I got a great photo of the most of the staff. Even better when I managed to get myself right in the middle!

SUPER STAFF!

An Epic Weekend In Queenstown

23rd - 26th Jan 2014

On the bar we give out heaps of prizes and it promotes the things you can do down in Queenstown. It means that, as a thank you, we get to go and do all the stuff for free so in the last weekend in January Oscar sent Gavin and I to Queenstown for a very mental weekend!

Contiki bus

It was a very early start to get a free ride down on the Contiki bus with Hayley and Steve as the drivers. It was so nice to get out of town and have a conversation with someone that doesn't involve the question "Is cider on happy hour?". There was a quiz on the bus which the team I was on would have won if it wasn't for a spelling mistake! Not that a bitter about that at all!

funny sign

Waterfall

We stopped a bit further down the road at a place called Dragon Falls I think. We took a few photos and made our way over the Hasst Pass. This is where a few months ago a huge landslide killed a couple of people. One of them still hasn't been found as far as I am aware. Hayley and Steve have this thing when they go past any kind of roadworks they have to put on there cone hats.

Hasst Pass

After going over the pass we left the rainforest with its rain behind and it opened out to some stunning scenery around Lake Wanaka.

Lake Wanaka

Mountains!

More mountains

We arrived in Wanaka in time for dinner where I treated myself to a Subway. That's the thing about Franz Josef, there's a severe lack of takeaways! I would have liked to explore a little bit more of Wanaka but I'll be back.

Lake Wanaka

Weird hand thing

Just outside Wanaka is Puzzle World, somewhere I've been wanting to go ever since I heard about it. Hayley managed to sneak me in free so that was a bonus. The first part is an epic two story maze where to complete it you have to get to each corner in a certain order. Now I pride myself of my sense of direction. I always remember my way back to a place even if its a year later. This maze however is the most frustrating hour of my life!

Maze

Eventually I managed to get round but I got lost so many times! I did manage to do it before most of the rest though so at least thats something.

Mental

Then I went into the main building where the was a whole heap of cool stuff. There was a room built on a slant with all kind of crazy things to mess with your head, a room full of faces that follow you around the room, a room where your small at one side and huge at the other and heaps of other cool stuff.

Slanted room

Messing with your mind

the first one is easy!

Midget?

People or pillars?

Straining!

Its falling!

I got it!

Then it was on to Queenstown. As you can see my hair was getting ridiculous so the first thing I did was get a hair cut! Then we hit the bars where we bumped into Hayley and her friend. Hayley kept getting us free drinks so we kept her supplied with shots and it was a really good night. So nice to go out somewhere that isn't Monsoon or Blue Ice! It was also nice to get drunk food from McDonalds!

Road to QT

Party time

Crazy indoor fire

The next day was the worst/best day of my life. I woke up a little hungover, walked over to the office still half asleep, jumped on a bus, sat in a chair and then jumped off a bridge!

Nevis Bungy!

The whole time leading up to it I just wasn't with it. It was like I was pretending it wasn't happening. Sarah had organised it for us for free so it wasn't as if I could just not do it! Gavin got out of it because he'd fallen off a building a few months earlier and they were worried about the concussion he'd had.

As I was the heaviest of the group (joy!) I had to go first so I didn't even have time to watch anyone else do it. Before I knew it I was getting strapped up and hobbling over to the ledge. Terrified is not the word. It was so high up, 134m to be exact! And you have to jump off, you can't be pushed or dropped. You have to go agaisnt all natuaral instinct and jump!

Argh!

So I'm on the ledge and "1,2,3, Go!"
Wo wo wo, they were not seconds!
"1, 2, 3, GO!"
WAIT I'M STILL NOT READY!....................OK
"1, 2, 3, GO!
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

As I fall my shoulder twists round awkwardly like it likes to do every now and then so I rip it back and I say rip because that's what it felt like. OW! and I'm still falling towards the ground but now in a lot of pain!

Jump

I think the adrenaline kicked in after the first bounce so I started screaming/laughing and enjoyed the rest of it. I was buzzing for about 3 hours after. I cannot believe I did it. The bungy jump is a huge thing to tick of my bucket list. Not that it was even on there because I didn't think I would be able to do it! I'm so glad I did it and I would like to do it again I think but only if i was made to do again. Not volunteering for that! My shoulder hurt for about a week after this!

Bungy video!

On the drive back into Queenstown I was able soak in the beautiful scenery surrounding the town. There was snow on the hills which I told, for January, is extremely rare.

The remarkables (walls of mordor)

Snow!

When Gavin couldn't do the bungy he went in search of the Canyoning trip so he was away doing that. I was trying to get hold of the manager of the Canyon Swing but she was on her way to Franz Josef so she had no signal. So instead I took a bit of a walk around Queenstown trying to make sense of what I'd just done!

Awesome

Queenstown is one of most amazing scenic places I've ever been, possibly even the best. Around every corner and from every angle the place is just stunning! Even more so from up the cable car.

The lake

Queenstown

Big ass tree

When Gavin came back from his trip we thought we'd go do the Luge rides at the top of the hill. For that we had to go up the cable cars at the view from the top is simply ridiculous. It was unbelievable. There are no words or pictures that can describe how beautiful it looks!

Cable car

AMAZING!

After we dragged ourselves away from the viewpoint we headed for the Luge. Now, I thought this would be fun but it was so much better than that. I did not expect to enjoy this half as much as I did. It was ridiculous amounts of fun!

Lift to the start of track

So Luging is basically go karts without an engine and you go down hill. They make you go on the family track first so we just sped past everyone so we could go again on the other one. You can get some serious speed and serious air in places too! So much fun! I was pretty much just laughing to myself all the way down everytime!

Luge tracks

Look how much fun we are having!

Best day ever!

Kart made out of jelly beans

Bar with a view?

On the way back to the hostel we stopped off at the world famous Fergburger which make some epic burgers believe it or not. When I say epic I mean huge. You need two hands to eat it preferably three if you can manage that! Very messy too!

Fergburger

Huge day! But its not over. After a bit of a snooze we got ready for the Big Night Out, an organised pub crawl through Queenstown. It was a bit of a shaky start as there wasn't an ice breaker and they crammed 50 people into a bar that would only comfortable hold 20. Me and Gavin managed to miss when everyone went to the Ice Bar but one of the organisers took us over so we had the place to ourselves for a half hour. It was really cool in there. You see what I did there! No but seriously the sculptures were awesome. We had a shot that was poured through one of them and drinks and served in a cup made of ice.

Ice Bar

After that we went to Loco where they were having a foam party! I haven't been to a foam party in years and I love them! So much fun!

Foamy!

Foamy foam foam

The next day the momentum did not stop. It was another early start as we had a shotover jet boat ride to attend. We were very unenthusiastic when we arrived as we were very hungover but once we got going it blew that hangover away. Speeding down the valley inches from the rock was incredible. They get so close to the sides its crazy and the spins have you gripping on.

Shotover river

Valley

If you watch the video then don't be fooled by the helicopter shots, that's obviously archive footage!

My vid

From there we had an hour wait at the cafe waiting for the White Water Rafting. We had some much needed food and then we piled on to a bus. I was very very nearly sick in the bus as it wound its way through the valley. It was warm and stuffy on the and I still wasn't feeling so great. I felt a lot better once we were in the water though. There was more floating along the river than actual rapids but when you did hit the rapids you get thrown about a bit. It was really good. There was this bit where you go through a cave that was built to divert the river for miners. I don't have any pictures or videos of this though which is a bit pants.

Sunset at the lake

And that was the weekend pretty much over. We went and hung out down by the river with the stray bus and I think I went to bed about 9pm. I was exhausted and my bus left at 7am. Gavin had another day off so he stayed out and came back a day later.

I cannot believe the stuff we did that weekend and almost all for free. I absolutely love Queenstown and I can't wait to go back!