16
th
– 27
th January 2016
I felt like
this was the true start of my time in South East Asia. Everything before it was
a prelude to this. I had booked Ultimate Thailand which was run by the same people
that did Ultimate Oz. Mark and Shelly, who I had done Ultimate Oz with over
three years ago, were two of the first tour guides to run this new tour. I
always planned to do it at the start of my Asia trip. Ultimate Oz had been such
a good introduction to Australia and I thought that this would do the same. I
could hopefully meet some people to travel the rest of SE Asia with.
The 10 day
tour would take me all over Southern Thailand to some truly amazing places. I
would meet all kinds of people from all over the world, although mainly Europe
and have an unforgettable experience.
 |
| Train to Bangkok |
First
though, I had to catch the overnight train from Butterworth to Bangkok. This
was my first experience of an overnight train in SE Asia and it was a
surprisingly pleasant journey. The bed was plenty big enough and comfortable.
There were a couple of plugs around so I could keep my laptop charged whist I did a blog.
 |
| Goodbye Malaysia |
Armed guards
boarded the train at the border which was little unnerving. There used to be
trouble at the border here but that’s a thing of the past. The guards were very
relaxed despite a machine gun hanging around their necks. I saw one had chosen
did take a quick snooze by the window until we reached to the first stop in
Thailand and he got off.
 |
| The legendary Chang beet |
I
arrived in
Bangkok and got ripped off by the taxi man. I was so tired I just agreed
the
first price I heard but I actually paid more than double of what I
should have
paid. He didn’t even know where my hostel was despite nodding and saying
“yes
yes” when I showed him the address. He made me go with him to find his
friend who could direct him where to go. I got there in the end and had a
lazy day
resting and catching up on some sleep before the epic tour began. The
hostel
I was in was run by Indians so I had myself a nice Indian curry and had
my first taste of
the infamous Chang. Its supposedly 5% but it’s like Russian roulette as
the
actual percentage could be anywhere up to 15%.
The next day
was the official start of the Ultimate Thailand adventure and I was very
excited!
Day 1:
I went
around to hotel that I would be staying in for the first couple of nights. This was
included in our tour package. I checked in to a 3 bed room which was quite
luxurious compared to the places I had been staying at recently. Two other
people had checked in already but had gone out so I would have to
wait before meeting them. I was itching to see who I would be spending the
next 10 days with but there was no one around.
 |
| Khao San Road |
I decided to
go out for a wander starting at the famous Khao San Rd. This featured
in the film The Beach which I had actually watched the day before. The Indian
man had put it on the TV while I waited to check in. It’s where Leo meets the
guy that tells him about the island. In 1997 they had showed Khao San Rd to be
extremely touristy with every kind of stereotypical Thai thing going on and
that is exactly what it’s like. Especially at night where it becomes party
central as the bars spill out onto the street and your offered trays of scorpions to try.
 |
| Film Crew |
As
I was
walking around I noticed a camera crew filming a scene. It looked like
it was
foreign film so no famouses. Later on I found out that they had been
filming a
fight scene in the middle of the street in the morning.I'll have to try
and found out what film it is. Maybe I'm in the background.
 |
| Democracy Monument |
I saw the
Democracy Monument which I thought was very ironic as Thailand is currently
being ruled by the military.
I returned
to the hotel where I met my Austrian roommates Martin and Thomas. I went down to the
lobby at about 5pm for the meeting at 6pm. I was very keen! Slowly everyone
joined and I finally got to meet everyone plus our tour guides Fiona and
Hannah. People made polite small talk and then we got a full run down of what
was going to happen over the next few days.
 |
| Welcome Dinner |
There was a
good mix of people. I had worried that it would be a whole bunch of 18/19 year
olds who just wanted to party all the time but it wasn’t. Jack was the youngest
of the group. He was travelling with Scott and they were both from England.
Mirko, a young German, was the child of the group and led Scott and Jack astray.
There were two Dutch girls. Kim, who is a little small but became the dark horse of the
group, and Daimi who I travelled with for a while after the tour. Lee, he was
allergic to nuts, which will feature later. Danny and Jane, a very nice older
German couple. Four Austrians; Mathias, Thomas, Martin and Alex who all had real jobs at home. In fact
everyone that was older than me had had a real job at home. Leon, a Mexican who
had has trip ruined by various events at home. There was also Bianca, Irene and
Jess. Jess was a bit of a papered princess from America with homes in LA and
New York but she was a very nice girl.
We had
dinner at a place just across from the hotel where we all introduced ourselves
properly and started to get to know each other. Everyone seemed really nice and
I couldn’t wait to get started on our trip.
 |
| Good to know |
 |
| Dancing in the streets |
After our
dinner we went to a few bars including this one, Golf Bar where they seemingly
don’t check IDs. This place was my favourite. Most people didn’t want to
embarrass themselves so early on but I couldn’t not dance to the songs there were
playing. It’s where we heard Justin Bieber as a group for the first time. Conversations
about Justin Bieber were worryingly frequent throughout our tour. His song
‘Sorry’ became our theme tune with people constantly belting out ‘Is it too
late now to say sorry’. Yes, yes it is.
I tried a go
at laughing gas but that did absolutely nothing for me. We went to ‘The Club’
after which was… a club where we stayed for the rest of the night.
Day 2:
 |
| First of many group photos |
Look at
everyone being so sensible. Almost formal looking. That changed! The next day
was the temple tour day. Everyone met in the lobby with a chang-over (it’s like
a hangover but considerably worse!) We met our guide for the day Mr Wat who was
a very funny man and told us a lot about the places we visited. I’m assuming
that’s not his actual name but it would be awesome if it was.
 |
| Temples |
 |
| Something to do with kings I think |
 |
| Buddha Buddha Buddha Buddha..... |
 |
| Massage instructions |
The rest of
the temple complex was pretty cool and not nearly as busy. We spent some time
walking around while Mr Wat told us things. He pointed out the scriptures
carved in stone .that teach you had to massage properly.
 |
| Another Temple |
 |
| Disturbing Statue |
We went back
to the boat to cross over to the other side of the river to visit Wat Arun. We
were the first group to go to Wat Arun for about 6 months. It had been
closed to do some construction work. Just before we went in I saw this statue
that I found quite disturbing.
 |
| Wat Arun |
Wat Arun is
quite impressive. Its tall and you can walk up to the second level to view the
patterns from up close. We saw people putting on local dress including extra-long
golden fingernails to do pictures in from of it.
 |
| Tuk Tuk |
The last
stop on our tour was the Flower Market. I’ve never seen so many shops selling
flowers in one place. It’s not like there were a massive variety of shops. They
were all selling the same stuff. We didn’t stay too long though. I jumped in
with Leon and Lee for my first ever Tuk Tuk ride back to the hotel.
 |
| Reunion |
Look at this
blast from the past! Mr Stephen Brewer was visiting Thailand with his
girlfriend Breanne who is working in China. It just so happened that he arrived
in Bangkok the day after me so we arranged to meet. I hadn’t seen him since a year
before I started travelling. That’s nearly five years ago! It was great to
catch up and to finally meet his misses. They met me for dinner whilst I was
with the rest of the group.
 |
| Another ride in a tuk tuk with Daimi and Kim |
After dinner
most of the group decided to go to a Ping Pong Show. When in Rome! I arranged
to meet Stephen at the Skybar afterwards. That was a disaster but I’ll get to
that. We all got Tuk Tuks to the show. I was in with Daimi and Kim. We walked into a room
full of men that just had a desk in it and a door at the far end. It looked
quite dodgy. I had the idea that a Ping Pong Show was a fun, kinda seedy but
mainstream thing to do in Bangkok but it felt very underground and quite dodgy.
We went into
a larger room that was all dark and had a stage in the middle where the acts er…
‘perform’. They are on a continuous loop so people come and go all the time.
There was quite a variety of acts. They were firing pins at balloons, sausages
at people who would duck for cover, various ropes and flags and, of course,
ping pong balls. I was promised a chicken by Scott who had been before but
that never happened. Things got even weirder when a dude came out to have sex
with one of them. It was so awkward sat in a room with people that I barely
know along with locals that were watching straight-face and silent. I remember
Bianca’s face was a picture! All in all it was quite an odd experience and not
nearly as funny as I thought it would be.
We
planned
to go to the Skybar after that but it was a complete fail. It’s where
they
filmed a bit of The Hangover. We were told shorts would be okay as long
as they
were smart shorts but when we got there shorts were not allowed. You
also
needed closed shoes so no one was allowed in. I assumed Stephen had
tried to
get in and failed too but I had no way of contacting him. We went to a
different bar in the same hotel but it had ridiculous prices so we left.
We had a faff trying to
get back to the hotel but got there eventually. We went back to Golf Bar
but by
then it was quite later and we were very sober.
Day 3:
 |
| Many steps to the top |
It was
essentially a free day for the tour, a chance to do whatever we wanted before
catching the overnight train. I met up with Stephen and Breanne and hung out
with them for the day. We went to the Golden Mount which has a lot of stairs to
get to the top. They were quite frustrating steps actually. They were small so
to take each one would take a long time but too big to do two at a time.
 |
| At the train station |
 |
| A gathering on the train |
We jumped in
taxis to the train station where we all grabbed some food and snacks for the
journey. We were heading south and I was extremely excited. The train wasn’t
quite as good as the one I had got when I arrived in Bangkok but it was still
nice enough. We gathered in the middle of the carriage to play Cards Against
Humanity. I enjoy this game so much but it can be dangerous when playing with
people who you don’t know all that well. I will always go for the funniest
answer but if you know the game then you know it can be really bad. I got
labelled a bit of a racist but I did win!
Day 4:
I slept
okay, just not quite long enough. It was early when the steward pulled back my
curtain and said “Surat Thani, next stop”. We stopped at a little café for
breakfast whilst we waited for our taxi to arrive. They had baked beans on the
menu! I got so excited! But when I ordered they had ran out. Excitement turned to disappointment!
 |
| Bridge to nowher |
We were
split into two groups in two taxis for our journey into Khao Sok National Park.
It took a few hours to get to our final destination but there were plenty of
stops along the way. The first one was on a river in the middle of nowhere. It
must be semi-touristy as there was the odd vendor here and there selling the usual
tat.
 |
| Nice view |
This was
just a small preview of the stunning scenery we were about to encounter. At the
other end of the bridge was a group of young school children. They all stared
at us as we crossed so we waved and they waved back giggling.
 |
| Wow! |
 |
| Amazing! |
Another hour
later we were at a harbour. The rest of the journey would be by boat and what I
boat ride it was. Huge limestone cliffs towering over the lake made it one of the most
stunning places I’ve ever visited. We were on the boat for a while but at no
point was a bored.
 |
| Awesome! |
 |
| Time for a swim |
We pulled
into one of the bays to go for a swim. We took in in turns to jump off the
front of the boat pulling various poses for the camera. Then we continued on to
our accommodation.
 |
| Chilling |
 |
| Mastered paddle boarding |
We chilled
out in the sun either on the wooden walkway or in the water which wasn’t cold
but just cool enough to be refreshing. A few of us, including myself, borrowed
the kayaks as they were free. I paddled to an island in the middle of the lake
and hung out there for a bit before heading back. There was a bit of a breeze
heading back so it was a bit more hard work. I took a few breaks and learnt
paddle boarding which is far easier than I imagined.
 |
| Bear print on a tree |
Later in the
afternoon we were taken on another boat to a different part of the lake. From
there we did a hike across to another smaller lake. Along the way we had a
guide that told us about the animals in the area including the bears. He took
us off the track into the jungle to show us this paw print.
 |
| Another lake |
 |
| Run from the bees! |
 |
| Cruising along on the raft |
Over on the
smaller lake we dodged this massive swarm of bees that the locals barely seemed
to notice and boarded another boat. I say boat, it was more of a raft. Just a
bunch of bamboo tied together.
 |
| Huge spider |
 |
| Beautiful sunset |
That night
we all bought alcohol in the little shop they have next to reception and played
ring of fire. It was quite difficult to play with 19 people. We ended up
picking the ‘I have never card’ about 6 times in the space of 10 cards (playing
with two decks).
I went to
bed just in time to miss the skinny dipping which was lucky. I shared a room
with Lee in our own little small raft house. We actually had to share a bed but
it was a big bed. You could feel the whole shack move on the water but it was
only slightly. Until a boat went past, then everything started moving and
creaking with the other raft houses.
Day 5:
 |
| Fishes! |
 |
| Another group pic |
It was time
to leave this paradise behind in search of a new one. We piled back onto the
boat and went back to the pier. The two minibuses were waiting for us there and they
took us to our next destination.
 |
| Monkeys! |
 |
| "I see food!" |
The first
stop was the Monkey Temple which really isn’t a temple. It’s just a bunch of tourists
feeding bananas to the monkeys. Most of our group haven’t encountered monkeys
before but, for me, nothing will beat the baby monkeys I saw in Bali.
 |
| Crossing the river |
We arrived
in a village on the edge of Khao Sok National Park where we dropped our bags
before heading out for a big jungle trek.
 |
| About the size of my hand |
 |
| Sleeping snake |
This snake
was so hard to spot. We saw some people looking and taking photos but it took
me ages to spot what they were looking at. I got it eventually.
 |
| Koh Sok Village |
Back in the
village we went to the bar for food and drinks. Everyone went out to a Reggae
Bar but I was having toilet issues and decided to stay in. I don’t think anyone
stayed at that bar long because my roommates Alex and Thomas came back pretty
quickly and I could hear Jess, Kim and Daimi in next door too.
Day 6:
 |
| On the ferry |
The
relentless trip continues. At least at our next stop, Koh Phi Phi, we would be
spending two nights there not just the one. We got in the minibuses one last time
which took us to Krabi where we would get the ferry across to the island. We
took over half of the upper deck. It was stinking hot but once we were moving
we were able to lie in the sun with a nice breeze on us.
 |
| Koh Phi Phi |
 |
| Another heaven |
A couple of hours later we arrived at the beautiful Koh Phi Phi island. This
place was also incredibly stunning. It’s very small. It would only take you a
couple of minutes to cross to the other side at its narrowest point and it’s
only a handful of kilometres in length.
 |
| Best place to stay ever. |
I enjoyed my
last accommodation but this was also awesome. The pool was great with the bar
attached to it. We hung around in there for a couple of hours where I may have
been involved in an incident.
Jess was sat
on the side not willing to get in the water so we came up with a plan to get
her in. Jack said he wanted to try her drink and took it out of her hands and I
pulled her in. She was happy not to get her hair wet but then Lee picked her up
and dunked her. She was a little miffed but who wouldn’t be. It was all laughs and
jokes and she swore revenge. She seemed okay with it but that was the last time
we ever saw her.
She didn’t
come to dinner with us that night or on the boat trip the next day. She messaged Fiona
saying that she was quitting the tour. Hannah spent the next day trying to
convince her to stay. We were prepared to apologise. It was only a bit of fun
after all but I think she got herself all worked up and she was a tad dramatic.
She had isolated herself a little bit on the trip so far whereas the rest of us
had bonded by now. It was a shame to lose a member of the group.
 |
| Sunset on Phi Phi |
Back to now,
the sun was setting and a few of us took on the hike up to sunset point. There
are three points to watch the sunset from. The first is not great. Everyone
goes to the second as it’s the natural stopping point but there’s actually a
third lookout further up. I continued to the third where there were only a
handful of people and watched the sunset in a quite serenity.
 |
| Beer Pong |
That
serenity soon turned into party mode. We went out for dinner at a Mexican place
where we played a game of ‘Zumi Zumi’. It’s a game where you bang on the table
in a rhythm and basically make lots of noise. I felt a bit sorry for the other
people in our restaurant when we started playing this as it was quite loud.
It’s a good game though.
 |
| Soaking my balls |
We went
upstairs where we played a few rounds of beer pong. I was incredibly bad at
this today. I don’t think I got a single one in at all!
 |
| Fire show on the beach |
 |
| Sparks everywhere |
The rest of
the night went past in a blur. We saw a fire show on the beach that was quite
impressive. We went to a couple of bars on the beach. There was one that a
bucking bull in it and I am powerless to resist one of these so naturally…I
lasted like 30 seconds. It was a really good night. Best night I’d had in a
long time. The hangover the next day, however, was not fun.
Day 7:
 |
| Paradise |
I don’t think
anyone was keen to get going on the second day in Koh Phi Phi. We were going on
boat trip to the smaller island where they filmed ‘The Beach’. I was quite excited
to see this but first we went to a little beach where there were some monkeys.
 |
| More monkeys |
Again, I
have no interest in Monkeys anymore but something that was interesting was the
model shoot that was going on. They threw out a bunch of bananas to stop the
monkeys getting into shot.
 |
| Heading to 'the beach' beach |
 |
| Maya Bay |
We continued
on to the other island and to Maya Bay. It wasn’t quite what I expected. They don’t
show the painful walk from the boat to the beach over coral in the film. It
also didn’t quite look right but then someone pointed out that they CGI’d an
extra rock in to make it look enclosed.
 |
| Jump |
 |
| Failing at a handstand |
It’s
still a
very beautiful beach once you’ve walked very gently around all the
tourist
boats to get to the shore. We spent some time taking a few group
pictures in
various ways. I don’t know why but handstands had become a thing in our
group.
I think there was a competition between Martin and Bianca. Not wanting
to miss it I attempted one on the end. I haven’t tried to do a
handstand in years so I was surprised when I managed it. But then it
went
wrong. The camera just managed to miss me losing my balance and properly
face
planting the beach
 |
| Being useful |
Undeterred I
washed the sand off my face and out of my hair in time for the pyramid photo.
Now it may appear that I’m doing nothing but I was part of the foundation that
was vital to support the pyramid.
Yeah,
alright, I was doing nothing but I wanted to be involved!
 |
| Snorkling |
Just before
we went back to the main island we went for a little snorkel. The water is so
clear here so you could see quite far.
The journey
back was a bit rougher to say the least. The swell had increased quite a lot
and the captain of our little boat didn’t seem to want to slow down at all. I
sat at the front with Fiona and Lee and we left our seat a few times. It was a
little worrying when the seat kept making cracking sounds. We were drenched by
the time we got back to island but it was very fun. I enjoyed the ride.
That night
we went to an all you can eat BBQ buffet which was awesome. People went their separate
ways after dinner to do some last minute things before we left Koh Phi Phi. A few people got tattoos. I
grabbed some snacks for the journey tomorrow and had an early night.
Day 8:
We left Koh
Phi Phi by ferry the next day in glorious sunshine but as we waited in Krabi for
the bus to take us to the other side of the mainland we heard that weather was gradually
getting worse. They had cancelled the ferry to Koh Tao which is the next island
along for the one we were going to, Koh Phangan.
 |
| Stormy |
Our ferry
was only delayed by a couple of hours. It was still running but it was rough.
We were all sat inside as we left the pier and as soon as we hit the open water
the tower of luggage at the front of the ferry started to fall apart.
I don’t often
get travel sickness but when I do the best way to deal with it is fresh air so
I had no choice but to stand outside. It was sheltered but there was a lot of
sea spray to try and avoid. It was quite fun to stand at the back of boat
whilst it’s trying to throw you off.
 |
| Big waves |
 |
| Hold on |
A few people
who were also feeling sick came to join me along with those who needed a cigarette.
One guy sat on a plastic stool which collapsed after a big bump. Just as we were
arriving in Koh Phangan people started throwing up all over the place including
a little girl who throw up all down the front of her father. He was holding her
so couldn’t move out of way. He really was covered.
We got off
the ferry being careful to avoid the various pools of sick and squeezed into a
taxi-bus-thing to take us to our hostel. A few people had to hang off the back of it.
I really can’t
remember what we did that night. I assume not a lot. Shiralea hostel is pretty
awesome. It has a cool bar and a nice pool so people went to both. It was
already evening by the time we arrived so there wasn’t time for much else.
Day 9:
 |
| Play time |
I was
looking forward to this for months! They have a wipeout course on Koh Phangan
that you can have a play around on. You can go around as many times as you like and
get timed if you want. There was sense of competition but I just wanted to not
come last.
The first
bit is a big swing that you hold on to and let go. Then onto a frame where you
have to dodge and clamber you way round. Next is a big roller thing that is
much scarier to look out than it is to get across. I was convinced they were
going to spin round and send me flying but I grit my teeth and went for it. I
survived. The next obstacle is a big inflatable climbing wall which you must
get to the top off and then slide off. This was hard work but I managed it.
 |
| The big red balls! |
Then it was
the big red balls. I’ve watched a lot of total wipeout so I know how spectacular
this can go wrong. You can see me in the picture cheering on Scott who managed
to get across all of them without falling which is quite a rare thing. I was next to go and
I knew I would never be able to copy that but I secretly hoped. Like the rolling
pins I had to dig deep because it looks scary from up there and…
 |
| OW! |
Erm, yeah.
It didn’t quite go to plan. I bounced into the first ball and popped my
shoulder out. I have a weak shoulder and it has tried to come out before and I can
push it back in. I tried to do this in the water but it wasn’t having it and I
realised that this time it had come all the way out. I was helped to the bank
and out of the water. This is when it really started to hurt, now that the
weight was on it. It made me feel quite dizzy so I had to sit down.
What
followed was a very painful hour getting me in and out of a car and then
waiting in the hospital for treatment. They didn’t seem to mind too much that I
was in a lot of pain. The worst I’ve ever had before (touch wood, I’ve never
broken a bone). Eventually they injected me with something before putting it
back in. It was good stuff. I started chatting all kinds of shit and repeating
myself a lot to Fiona. She had come with me and was extremely helpful so I
thanked her for that.
 |
| All fixed |
It stopped
hurting as soon as it was back in. They gave me some pain killers and anti-inflammatories
but I barely took them. I think because my shoulder has done similar things in
the past the recovery time was less. It was more or less back to normal in a
few days.
 |
| Pool party |
We went back
to hostel just in time to join in the beer pong competition that was happening.
Despite needing to play left handed I wasn't given any handicap at all so I was out
in the first round.
 |
| Milking it |
That night
we had to dress up in bin liners. I was a bit limited in what I could create
with one hand so I decided to make it seem like I was more injured then I was
by rapping a band around my head and a bag around my leg. There was a parade in
the bar of everyone that had dressed up so I limped my way across the room
which got a few laughs.
 |
| Here come the Men in Bags |
There was no
doubt who won the competition though. Lee and Jack had been quite secretive
about their outfits until they came to the bar. They got the bar staff to play
Men in Black when they were parading and then they ripped their sleeves off in
unison. Everyone cheered. One of the best moments of the 10 days. I have to mention
Scott’s mankini outfit was pretty good too.
 |
| Bag central |
The bags didn’t
last much longer after that as it was quite hot in them. There was a boys v girls
quiz that had a few of the usual side games like swap clothes, sex positions
etc. I can’t remember who won.
 |
| Our tour guides |
There’s a
bell at the end of the bar that if you ring then you have to buy everyone in
the bar a shot. There’s also a leader board of people who had rang it a lot with the number 1 guy buying 1000
shots! That would have been an expensive bar tab at the end! Hannah rung the
bell and we all had a shot and enjoyed the rest of the night. Tomorrow would be
our last day as a group!
Day 10:
I did a lot
of nothing the next day. Most of the group went out on scooters and I couldn’t join
them. I didn’t fancy hanging on with one hand. I walked down to the beach but
there wasn’t that much to see. The weather still wasn’t that great so I ended
up having a lazy day feeling sorry for myself.
 |
| Peaceful restaurant |
The group
came together when we went for dinner at a nice restaurant next to the sea.
They normally sit in a hut on a rock right at the waters edge but the storm
that had rocked our boat had destroyed it a little bit. It was a bit of a sad
occasion knowing that it was our final day all together. Fiona and Hannah asked
us all what our highlight had been. It was hard to choose there had been so
many.
The night
was not without its drama. Lee, who had made sure to ask that his meal did not
contain nuts, ate a large spring roll that rather unusually, had nuts in. He
realised straight away but was surprisingly calm about it. He left quickly with
Fiona. They went back to the hostel to get his epipen and then to the hospital.
Lee said he was sort of paralysed for a while until it wore off. Not good. So
that kinda put a downer on the night but at least he was okay. He returned that
night. Fiona had to go the hospital twice in two days.
 |
| The Koh Tao group |
The next
morning it was officially the end of our Ultimate Thailand tour. It had been
great. We may have lost one along the way (and almost lost others!). But we had
had an amazing time and made some great memories together but now it was time to say goodbye. We each got a wristband
that said ‘Ultimate’ that I’m still wearing.
But it’s not
quite the end. At least not for my time with some of these people. The group split with
half the people joining Fiona and going to Koh Samui and the other half going
to Koh Tao with Hannah. I had always been planning to go to Koh Tao after the
tour so this worked our quite well. The good times could continue!
